Thursday, May 05, 2011

Disentitled

I haven't posted anything new here in months. The idea popped into my head recently to revisit this thing and write more and post again. I got completely sucked into the shiny microblogging Facebook thing and have spent an awful lot of time over there. The FB account is actually a major photo storage site, miniblog, social thang, sometimes shared celebration or outrage, lots of music vids from YT and so on. Great fun, but I have been longing to accomplish a few other things lately that require much longer form.

For example, I have traveled like Jehu since roughly last year at this time, with an estimated 14 or so road trips in the past 12 months. On FB, I can post photos and basically say "Okay, I'm leaving" and "Okay, I'm back" and that's that. I don't use the FB "Notes" feature because the few that I've posted, it seems no one reads. Not that a ton of people were reading this. Maybe some of the reflections on all of these trips I've taken will be a good way for me to try to make sense out of things.

The real reason I left this blog behind was the death of my dog of almost 14 years old and the subsequent break up with the Poetess and the complete change in living situation, followed by months of ashes and busted bullshit and untranslatable spiritual meanderings, heartbreak, confusion, depression, step work, defiance, and general catastrophe and surrender and repeated submersion in grief. This blog was never particularly personal and every single thing everywhere suddenly became inseparable from the personal and I just didn't feel like writing about it or really anything else. I'm not sure if this is true anymore or not. I have my days. But maybe I can write about the trips I took and post some photos and ease my way back into something, maybe even change this thing around a little bit to be somewhat more personal. That's a strange proposition since it is not an anonymous blog. And a few current students of mine, for example, have said to me a few times "hey, you should write on that blog of yours again!" and I think they are just waiting for me to spill some sort of soap opera or heartache or other dirt.

No such luck.

The other series of items that might be worth cataloging for some reason might be musical discoveries and pleasures over the past year. Many of these have been in the alt pop rock more commercial arena. Baths, Cafe Tacuba, Yo La Tengo, Akwid, Eliza Rickman, Calle 13, Krishna Das, strange stuff for me, some of it. Also a lot of revisiting of past music. And really very little new music. A fallow year in that regard. And 10 months since a performance. Just underground, as in buried.

Hanged Man.

I think I'll start with a series of travelogue posts. Maybe that will get me back in practice and get me some perspective on what I've been looking for, driving all over the crazy beautiful world.

I will tell you that I learned this much: no matter where I went, she wasn't there.

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